Frustration and Fun

The title of this entry perfectly describes this week.  For the majority of this week, I (not really anyone else) was completely frustrated with a horrible migraine.  In fact, I am pretty sure my Neurologist was pretty frustrated with it as well.  I am hesitant to say it is over with because I had, until late Friday night, had this headache off and on for 25 days.  After 2 sets of nerve blocks which are injections in the back of my head and over my left eye, anti-nausea, anti-inflammatory injections, and some changes to my daily preventative migraine meds, it would appear as though-today-that things would be on an upswing.  Migraines have always been part of my life, but they have worsened and increased in frequency and intensity since the kids were born.  And to answer all the questions that I typically get:  no, they don't think there is a specific trigger, no, they don't know what causes them, yes, I have had an MRI, and yes, I trust my doctor.  I was lucky to have my Dad to take me to the doctor on Monday and my good friend Mary to take me on Wednesday.  I have such great friends. 

These migraines are pretty frustrating for me when dealing with my kiddos because I do not want them to feel like they are the "issue" or that they are missing out on anything because "mommy doesn't feel good"; however, this week was an exception and I was out of work quite a bit and had to just be in bed and rest.  That kills me-that I can't be the get in the floor and play mom that they deserve and to miss work.  Two things that I HATE.  But, that said, it couldn't be helped this time and so thank goodness today (Saturday) I have had a decent day! 

I decided when I woke up and my head felt strangely normal that today we would go out an do something fun.  And, we did.  Original plan was go to the Discovery Museum in Murfreesboro, but I felt like the kids needed to be outside today.  Now, nothing is ever boring with us.  Doug has to work every Saturday; therefore, these Saturday adventures are just us 3 Musketeers.  I decided we would go to Smyrna to the Splash Pad park.  Great idea, and it was free-even better-because typically my kids find themselves bored after an hour and want to leave.  That is always when I am glad that I didn't pay $31.99 to get a 4 year old into somewhere for an hour of fun and 7 hours of whining, "MOOOOMMMMYYYYY can we ppplllleeeeeeeeaassee go home?", to which I respond, "No, honey, we paid a LOT of money to get us in here!".  So, free is good.

We got there and the kids were so excited and it was not crowded at all-great!  They went running around and immediately to the two facing water guns and aimed them at each other. They were loving it.  Then, I got in with them and ran around.  They were so excited.  Then came the spiral downward.  The got hungry, I had snacks-no biggie.  Then they asked me what this little spout (picture a REALLY short water fountain) outside the gate was.  I told them it was to wash your feet off before you came the splash pad.  They seemed satisfied with that explanation.  Then, I saw H.D. out at the spout again, this time trying to climb it.  I went to him and said, "H.D., we are here to play, inside the gate-we can't climb this thing", "o.k., mommy" he said.  A little while longer goes by and he and his sister have gone out there to wash their feet, that is fine, I think.  Then I see him bend down, no, no, he is NOT going to drink from that-AND, he did.  This is the point, when I said, "H.D., Gigi -time to go!".  I mean after all, I didn't SPECIFICALLY tell them not to drink out of it, right? 


They got in the car fine and were due a treat for being good all week at school so I told them I would take them for ice cream.  They were so excited!  So, we got ice cream.  When we got back in the car I told them that I was going to let them buckle themselves in their car seats, mostly to see if they could both do it.  I knew H.D. could but Gigi gets too frustrated and gives up.  The following pictures are what occurred next (no kidding):



A Successful H.D. after getting out of his car seat and buckling his sister in hers.

Ahh a happy, buckled Gigi Marie.

Emotional Pain vs. Physical Pain

Which is worse for a Mother?  This is a question I asked myself multiple times this week.  Any given week, our house is typically pretty crazy, but we are usually able to keep things relatively "light".  This was not one of those weeks.  In our house we don't have much physical pain with the exception of my chronic migraines, Doug's aches and pains and the occasional bump and bruise.

This summer has truly been a "season of change for our house.  The kiddos have always had my Mom or Doug's Mom with them since they were born (they take turns coming to stay with us).  My Mom was with me the 8 weeks I was on hospital bedrest before the kids were born. Has this set up always been easy in our smallish house? NO, Has it always been worth it? YES, I say this because the kids have a love for these two women that is truly unmatched.  It is a special kind of love, it is unconditional.  I would not trade that relationship for anything because I was close with my grandparents and I would give almost anything to spend one more day with each of them. The grandma's take them and pick them up from preschool and, of course, stay with them until Doug or I get home.  And, they take them on other "special" outings.  

The first of June, my Mom fell and broke her lower leg and kneecap.  Therefore, she was out of commission.  Doug's Mom came the last 2 weeks of June, but not knowing was going to happen with my Mom I started making alternate plans for July and the first of August.  So, for July on Monday's and Friday's we have Paige (the love of H.D.'s life) coming to the house to babysit and Tues, Wed, and Thurs, they are going to preschool and I am going into work late and working late and Doug is picking them up after preschool.  Everything has been fine until this week.

On Tuesday, Gigi cried-just about harder than I had ever seen her (even when she pitches a fit) when I dropped her off at school.  She even stood at the window and cried and cried as I was leaving.  As this is happening, I am thinking this is SO strange to me because she is my "independent" child.  And, the preschool is at our Church.  She knows these people-they all love my kids.  However, I thought that she would, I am sure, calm down as soon as I was out of sight.  I went on to work.  At 12:30p.m. I got a call from the preschool director.  She said that Gigi was still crying, and had basically been crying since I left that morning.  As we were talking, I could hear Gigi coming down the hall crying.  Mrs. Robin (the preschool director) put Gigi on the phone to talk to me, she was crying so hard she could barely speak. Puh puh puhllleeaassee come get me she kept saying over and over again.  To which, although my heart was breaking, I said I can't come get you-Daddy will be there soon.  She was to go on a playdate with H.D. that afternoon a their friends house.  She said she didn't want to go.  She told Mrs. Robin that she was afraid someone would kidnap me, and no one would know where she and H.D. were.  Where did that come from?  I don't know.

She ended up changing here mind, went on the playdate and had a blast but was glad to see me.  Tuesday...I gave her a necklace of mine and told her-I will definitely be home because I have to get this necklace.  Thanks to my mom for that idea!  She had to do that with me.  She cried on Tuesday, too.  She told me she was "lost at this school with you, mommy".  But, she did not cry as badly and her teacher said she stopped quickly.  That night, she told me that every time she was sad or missed me she just looked at that necklace. 

Mrs. Robin thinks and now I do as well that she is afraid I will go away because it has been a while since she has seen her grandmas. That makes me so sad.  Her little mind is so much like mine was at her age, it is scary.  She is Doug's physical mini-me but her personality is SO me.  God help us all.  This is a child who will give a complete stranger the shirt off her back but fight her brother to the death over the last Danimals yogurt.

So, which is worse physical pain or emotional pain?  I am still not sure.  I have seen both of my kids in each.  However, I will say, at least with physical pain there are pain meds to be had.  You can't really do anything for emotional pain, except just be there and reassure.  That is exhausting.  

My Mom is the person you want in your corner for either type of pain.  She is seen me in the worst of both types of pain and she never flinches or backs away.  She handles them with the utmost grace.  

So, tonight, when Gigi started asking me 25 questions about Heaven I thought--oh,you have got to me kidding me.  And, then I thought-what would Mom say?  Then, I took a deep breath and answered her questions.      

First Tries

Since I had the twins 4 1/2 years ago, the Stills house and our life has been a whirlwind.  A whirlwind of change and a whirlwind of craziness.  One would think that as these two kiddos get older that things would calm down...WRONG ANSWER.  Things get crazier, but I must say-they get more hilarious.  I do think that finally after 4 1/2 years, we are getting a better handle on "things".  "Things" like Doug and I tag-teaming tasks, like you fix dinner, I will do baths, then you give medicine while I put the P.J.'s on.  Not to say that life is not still very stressful.  Doug and I were married 9 years before we had kids and together 13; however, we were not prepared for our drastically our lives would change.  Last week we got a look into just how much when the kids were in East TN for a week with Doug's parents.  We watched a movie every night, uninterrupted, together.  It was strange.  It was cool.  In the end, we needed to re-connect.  We were ready for the kids to come home, and we were better parents for taking the break. 

This week was about some "first tries" at things.  First, on Monday, we had a new babysitter come to the house to watch the kids because my Mom is still recovering from her fall in early June and Doug's Mom is staying home until August.  We have Paige, the new babysitter, coming on Monday's and Friday's.  When I got home Monday evening, the kids met me at the front door and were both talking so fast I could only understand every fourth word or so and it was PAIGE as they squealed with delight.  They had a blast.  H.D. waited to get some alone time with me and then he said, "Hey, Mommy?" and I said "Hey, What?" he then said the following:  "Today, I really wanted to kiss Paige, but I didn't because I only kiss you, right?"  "Right, H.D", I said.  Well, here is a first-H.D. has a College girl crush.  He loves the ladies, but to this point the oldest one had been a highschooler from Church.  Gigi said, "Hey Mom, guess what color Paige's pool turns when you pee in it?", "What color Gigi?"  "Dark, Dark, Blue".  To which I said, "Gigi, did you pee in the pool?", "No, brother did".

What do you get from your parents when you go away for a week and they REALLY miss you?  BIKES!  We finally gave in and got the kids bikes. We had previously not gotten them an outdoor riding apparatus of any type because our driveway goes downhill and our neighborhood streets are too busy.  The one night this week that it didn't rain, Doug was grilling and I decided to take the kids down to a cul-de-sac so they could practice riding their bikes.  As we made the turn down the street, it became VERY apparent that the kids did not know how to make a turn on their new bikes.  Gigi went speeding toward a parked car.  I stopped her about 3 inches before she hit that car.  She then proceeded to attempt to hyperventilate.  At the VERY same time H.D. had an accident.  So, she is hyperventilating and he is crying and Doug is grilling.  GREAT.  This is the point when I decided I should teach them how to brake.  I did and they got it! Before I knew it, here came Daddy to the rescue, he must have heard the cries.  Doug was barefooted, and he was walking down the street!  Thank goodness he showed up because we still had to get home. 

Friday was another first.  Paige was back for another round.  She decided to take them skating, like roller skating.  I kept my cell phone with me all day at work Friday because I kept waiting for a call about broken bones or missing teeth.  It never happened.  When I got home I asked if they had fun.  They said "the skates were too heavy for our feet".  Blessing in disguise. 

This blog is a way to help me document everything these 2 crazy kids do.  They really do crack me up, daily.